Transformation + Freedom

By November 1, 2013 Intuitive 5 Comments
AFSelfies

What a great time, November month of the death, to launch ANAFOTOS.com This is very exciting!
A time for transformation… for reencountering with our ancestors, a time to remember the path we have walked, to thank the experiences we’ve lived, the good and the hard ones. To leave behind what we don’t need anymore, ideas, thoughts, emotions, concepts… in order to free space to the new life, to creativity.
To honor that, I want to tell you the story about ANAFOTOS, of how I’ve got to where I am now.

(this might be the longest post I ever write…)
Renewing ANAFOTOS has been a long, painful, hard, confusing process, with disappointments, joys and a lot of growth.

It began about 7 years ago, on 2007. After working a few months on Mexico City for a wedding photographer, I moved back to the Pacific coast in Jalisco where I found the perfect opportunity to continue by myself doing what I just had learned. I was hired by a luxury hotel to take their weddings and events photos. It was a great time and I was having fun, I enjoyed being part of such an important moment for a couple. Sometimes we were only the bride and groom, my assistant and me!
On 2010 things became complicated with the news about Mexico’s insecurity. The hotel closed, so did others… And since I had not expanded my clients network, I had a limited mind and I didn’t dare to open a blog, I practically didn’t have a job anymore.

From time to time there was a wedding to photograph around my area, but I became very stressed about meeting my clients needs and each time I enjoyed my work less and less. I began to question myself if it was worth to continue pursuing photography… when I started photography 15 years ago I liked the artistic and abstract side of it, I rarely took pictures of people. But… how could I make a living from artistic photography
Thanks to my analytical mind and indecisive personality you can imagine that I didn’t get to far. I closed my website and stopped promoting my work.

I began a very long and complex process about reencountering with myself, finding my true passion and the perfect profitable activity to go with. I learned about acupressuere, how to use essential oils (both great by the way), learned yoga, took photography classes to update my knowledge, I spent days lost in the internet, I gained weight, lost weight, gain it again…,etc, etc, etc. Nothing seamed to be enough and I was never constant.
On 2011 I rediscovered self portraiture thanks to Alex Beadon. I decided to give it a chance, so I took some pictures of myself and wow! I had so much fun and I loved the photos! After the session I felt enthusiastic and filled with energy, I wanted more and more! So I kept doing it, I took pictures of myself when I was happy, angry, sad, on any situation. Until I started to realize that, through the photos, I could see myself the way others saw me. I found myself very serious and with a hard expression, fatter than I thought I was,  but I also discover that I could look pretty and sexy (even with those extra kilos). It was much better that looking at the mirror!
After this experience I was very enthusiastic, it was the perfect excuse to make peace with photography! Nevertheless, the big questions came up, how to make a living doing self portraits? How to share it with others and teach them to do it in order to discover themselves like I did?  It crossed my mind that a blog might be useful for this, but I was not ready yet for that, I had already created one that didn’t work and I didn’t feel like going there again.
I was kind of stuck with my multiple questions… But at the same time I was desperate to find the answers!

On that journey I found Mayi Carles from Heartmade. I took a few sessions with Mayi and that helped me to believe in myself and my project, perfect!. The problem was that I was not 100% clear of what I wanted so I couldn’t go on (thanks a lot  for being so caring and patient!).

I bombarded my friends and family with questionnaires about my qualities and abilities, to see if I managed to clear my mind , it was very useful but it took a while to take shape (thanks a lot to all of you who participated!).
So I thought I would go back into the wedding photography since it payed well… but I was not enjoying it as much as I used to… and I was looking for something that thrilled me. So I kept waiting…
At the beginning of this year a friend (who rents these amazing villas on the beautiful Pacific Coast of Mexico Pacific Luxury Villas ) asked me if I would like to take some pictures of an anniversary from a very good client and very nice people. Well, taking pictures of a birthday party was not exactly thrilling but it was a job opportunity and I wanted to support my friend.

I had a great time! It was an exceptional couple surrounded by loving friends and family, great atmosphere, I didn’t see the time go by. I enjoyed it so much that I instantly wanted to do it again! (as long as all my clients were like them!). After 2 years of thinking about creating a blog this was the perfect excuse to do it.
I am an artist by nature, photography has been my way of expression, I do it well, everyone is happy with my pictures… what else am I looking for?

I decided that from now on I would do any kind of pictures and that little by little I could polish the area that I was enjoying more to focus on it, so I had to start all over again and on my case, the best thing was to start right now!

Well, almost…
It was until this August that I finally focused completely on building again ANAFOTOS.com, with great enthusiasm and decision, yeah!

I was working on the last details of it when I came across with Sue Bryce on Creative LIVE it was shocking! I had to put everything in pause and dedicate all of my time to study her videos.

Thanks to the big discovery of this amazing woman and photographer Sue Bryce, I’ve been working like crazy for the last month, learning form her experience.

It has been a revelation to me, what I was looking to accomplish when I re-discover self portraits and many aspects of this personal growth fit and take shape when I see what she does!
I used to waste a lot of time on thinking about everything I could have accomplished all these years that I did nothing productive… but I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I realize now that a few years ago I wasn’t ready to take this step, this decisions, to have a clear mind, to take action. I am very grateful and happy for this journey of learning, practicing and self definition that photography and the search of my passion have take my through.
Life can seem complicated, but our head is a thousand times more (mine is!). To let go of the way I think my life should be, gives it the opportunity to actually “be” and that is so liberating.
I hope this space will be as inspiring and enhancing for you as it is for me…

may the thoughts, words and actions of my own life contribute in some way to the happiness and freedom of all

(happiness mantra)

If you are reading this lines it means that you managed to read all the way through my story… Wow! Thanks a lot for your time.

I am very anxious to share with you my new project, wait for it this month of November!

Meanwhile explore anafotos and familiarize with the site, you can subscribe here for updates from the blog.
I would like to thank from my heart to ALL the people that participated and some that are still participating directly or indirectly in my process of self growth.

Special thanks to Max, my other half that appeared in my life at the beginning of this chaos and that has been by my side ever since, telling me that “with love an time everything will be solved”. Without your presence, your support and your unconditional love I am not sure this would have been possible.

 

Happy month of the death!

death = transformation = letting go = freedom

5 Comments

  • Ofelia says:

    No te voy a felicitar por haber lanzado tu página y blog. Necesito agradecértelo. Me encanta. La fascinación que me causa la forma en que tú y las mujeres de tu familia ven este mundo, me cambió la vida desde que las conocí. Inspiración pura. Convicción de vivir la vida como es. Seremos afortunados de tener este nuevo espacio para asomarnos a tu caleidoscopio de ideas y aprender un poco más de ti.

    Me encantaría aprender más sobre el autorretrato. Contrario a una expresión de vanidad, lo presentas como una valiente forma de conocerte desde afuera. Desde nuestro interior, pese a ser nuestros peores enemigos, tenemos la oportunidad de tomar atajos o engañarnos al describirnos. A través de un autorretrato, reconoces ante los demás lo que ves de ti mismo. Como pararte en un escenario abierto a toda clase de crítica, no sólo respecto a lo que eres, sino a lo que piensas y sientes de tu existir. Como si dejaras que todos leyeran tu diario, después de haberlo escrito y escondido por años.

    Un abrazo!

    • anafotos says:

      Ofelia: Te haz convertido en toda una poeta.. bueno, tal vez ya lo eras. Agradezco tus palabras tan bellas.
      Descubrí en el autorretrato una herramienta poderosa de expresión y de auto-observación. Pude entender mejor a mis clientes que siempre se cohiben frente a la cámara! Es curioso como nos intimida estar frente a un simple aparato…
      Al final de cuentas creo que si se vuelve “una expresión de vanidad” pero en el buen sentido, después de todo quién dijo que está mal apreciarnos a nosotros mismos?!

  • Mercedes says:

    Hermosa, el arte en ti se va ampliando y ahora te abres a la redacción, excelente, por cierto. ¿Apreciarse uno mismo? Es el más grande objetivo del amor incondicional y el mejor camino para relacionarte con lo divino. Lo externo te frena y lo interno te deja fluir. ¿Cuál eliges? Ya lo demostraste magistralmente. Sigo siendo tu fan más obsesiva, como también los soy de tus hermanos, en la expresión de vida que cada uno ha elegido.
    Reconozco tu espíritu crítico más que tu indecisión. Reconozco tu capacidad de entregarte a lo que vives, a lo que haces y a quien amas (Max). Y admiro la forma como has plasmado tu historia en este escrito, que muchos leeremos y que nos llevara – de tu mano – por tu arte fotográfico, una más de tus formas de expresión ( en mi caso, cuando logre entender el manejo de tu bello blog).
    Realmente moviste fibras en mi y me siento orgullosa de tu realización y de tu gran satisfacción por ella. Gracias mil!!
    Nini

    • anafotos says:

      Muchas gracias Nini y Gaby por sus palabras tan emotivas y cariñosas! Me da mucho gusto saber que algunas de las mias tambien llegan a tocar algo dentro de los que las leen y que he logrado transmitir mi mensaje…

  • Gabriela del Rio says:

    Hermosa, gracias por compartir tus pensamientos, tu crecimiento es (en alguna manera) mi crecimiento, porque todos somos UNO. En esa misma búsqueda de identidad interna, nos encontramos muchos, que maravilloso que tengas la consciencia de hacerlo joven, nunca es tarde, lo se, pero mientras mas joven creo, es mejor.
    La realidad es que tenemos que aprender a apreciarnos a nosotros mismos, para entonces apreciar a todos y a todo lo que nos rodea!!
    Un abrazo con mi cariño

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